Holding Still

rotten teeth and preese

Been gone too long.

Habtam had one of his troublesome teeth pulled last week.  It ballooned up again, causing quite a stir at the nurse's office at his school. 

"Um, yes, we did notice the swelling."

"Well, he insisted he wasn't in pain, and we gave him some medicine in case.  He really wants to go to school."

About three days of this, with Habtamu reassuring us that he really, really wanted to go to school, while we waited for the swelling to diminish with the antibiotics.

I don't think the nurse realizes how important school is for Habtamu.  He takes school really seriously right now.  Maybe it's because of the attitude towards school in Ethiopia.  He was exposed to it in  his home village and at the care center, where the older kids were proud of the work they did at their "school,"  a small room with a chalkboard and words posted in Amharic and English.  We had to take him home early from school once last year, when he fell asleep in school.  He had a major meltdown and freaked out in the car on the way home, nearly throwing Lire's car seat at me.

On to religion.

Today in the tub, Lire said to me,

"Mommy, Chauncey is like a preese.  He protect us."

"The police?"

"No, a preese."

"A priest?"

"Yes!  A preest.  He protect us."

"Why, yes he is."

Already moving into the metaphysical, that Lire.

We've got some intense little guys here.  I feel like a lightweight, in comparison.  

And I'll prove it by mentioning how happy I am to finally get a new pair of eyeglasses and a haircut!  I'll post a picture, though it's a bit dark.  

So happy to talk to you again!  I'll try to post more regularly.  I have a book post for Mothertalk due soon, so I'll be on it.

cuteness personified.

Chauncey, our resident preese.

Superficial mom, making her picture smaller to fool you into thinking she is more humble than she really is.

christmas in ct, etc.

We had a really nice Christmas.  Traveled to my parents' place and to the ILs.  Christmas was spent with the celebrating Irish, the two days afterward with the reluctantly celebrating ILs.  It went as well as could be expected, there were no sit-downs where all of my faults were enumerated and grievances aired.  Phew!  Oddly enough, L was extremely clingy while we were there.  He's inordinately empathic, so he could have sensed my feelings of alienation while there.  More likely, it was a new place, large and sparsely furnished, so he may have felt a bit insecure.  H noted that the house was "spooky" and he thought he saw a ghost.  My ILs have mentioned the presence of ghosts, so he may have had something there.  

As we speak, the boys are staying with my parents until Thursday.  I know, can you believe it?  A very thoughtful Christmas gift to me and Alex, indeed.  We are both working these three days, so it's good for them to have excitement and change instead of Alex trying to balance work and entertaining them when school is out.  I'm teaching some vacation art classes at the museum where I used to work, which is good.  I also just discovered that the recreation center and I received the grant for which we had applied in October.  We didn't get the entire amount, but we did get most of it, so that's good news, too.  I was missing those crazy kids!  The funding we had depended on dried up, and I wasn't sure if I'd be working with them again.

I'm still meditating on and praying hard for us to move houses.  We'll probably stay in the area for the next year or so, but a move upstate or out-of-state is a possibility.  There is talk of us moving closer to my family, which surprisingly fills me with relief.  I used to think distance improved our relationships, which maybe it did.  But now that we have the two little guys, having them nearby for support sounds very good.  

We will see.  2009 promises to be pretty interesting all around for us.  I always figure that if we do our best, pick a good path, the right decisions will be made and the right things will happen for us.  It might not seem so at first, but I'm hoping things will unfold that way.  I have to admit I like the unknown.  It's pretty exciting.  Al doesn't feel exactly the same.  In fact, he is filled a bit more with dread and anxiety.  I am filled with dread and anxiety when I imagine having to stay in this house another year.  In fact, the alienation I felt while at the ILs returned when we came back here.  I may have done it to myself, or it could be the house rejecting me, who knows.  Probably a bit of both.  This property has a strange history within this family, and who knows about way-back-when, when the native population was ousted by the Europeans.

The boys did great with all the traveling and visiting.  H had a bit of difficulty here and there, but nothing out of the ordinary.  Just the usual off-the-wall behavior, teasing Lire too much, defying adults.  But considering he was out of his element and a bit under the weather, he did great.  Santa came to my parents' house and treated the boys well, but didn't spoil them.  Nana and Poppie were equally generous, giving the boys gifts that required lots of assembly, which the boys LOVE.  They like spending time putting things together.  They did the first gift with Daddy, and then after we left they put the second one together with Nana and Poppie.  The first is a Playmobil@ post office, the second a L@go interlocking gear thingie.  They are also learning how to trace, how to connect the dots, how to make a slinky go downstairs, and reading many, many new books.  

A very nice Christmas, indeed.

fly on the wall

 Lire's long-held dream came true.  Ingrid came over to HIS house.  Not OUR house.  HIS.  

And it was a great success.  I picked them both up from school and brought them to our house.  Oh, excuse, me, I mean his house.  Farm animals and pet shop toys (not Pet Shop Boys) were taken out and set up, the "picnic truck" (Playmobil@ camper) was driven around, "picnic people" (Playmobil@ figures) squatted in the uninhabited creche/stable someone gave us and the Christmas ficus was admired.  Lire gave her the drawing he made over Thanksgiving for her (I know, he's been planning this for ages!).  Finally, it was time for tea.  But Ingrid drinks only water and milk, as she made very clear, so we warmed up milk and poured it into the much desired teacups.  I was enamored of these fancy cups myself as a wee lass, and Lire loves everything beautiful, so he really wanted to use them when Ingrid came over.  She chose the white china with the red roses, while Lire chose the china with the African violets.  I had the creamy yellow cup with the pears painted in the bottom of the cup.  Alex joined us and opened up a pomegranate to share.  Ingrid informed me that her mommy didn't want her to "eat those," so she settled for half a cupcake and a banana.  Lire ate clementines, pomegranate seeds, half a cupcake and a marshmallow.  Oh, and some nuts and cranberries.  He likes to eat a little of everything, if you couldn't tell.  

The rest of the afternoon went swimmingly, with Habtam arriving home from school towards the end, ratcheting up the activity level by 100.  The swivel chair was spun recklessly, with both Lire and Ingrid yelling at him to "STOP, WE'RE DIZZY," and there was much running downstairs with Ingrid being "booed" at (Mommy, Habtamu rude.  Why?  Habtamu scare Ingrid!")

Lire also gave her two of his solar-colored rings he received from Uncle B who brought them back from Mexico and Habtamu gave her his pirate treasure chest.  

She didn't want to leave.  Who would, with such adulation?

I later asked Lire what his favorite part of the afternoon was.

"Everything."

Until after the holiday festivities.  I'll leave you with a photo of Lire and his second snowman.  He replaced the shell nose with a carrot nose later on in the afternoon, but Chauncey jumped up and bit it off, eating it.  And then Chauncey jumped up and removed the snowman's hat and toppled it.  Note Chauncey way in the back of the photo on the front steps.  He is plotting his snowman destruction, though he's not aware of it yet.  He's that mischievous.

 

wandering pains and a VIP

I've had some weird ailments these past two weeks. That's not too unusual for me, since my auto-immune excitement years ago. My body likes to "go rogue." I am definitely getting more objective about it, though it's no less annoying. Last Monday I took a yoga class with a different teacher. It was tiring, a real workout, but I felt fine afterwards. I actually felt great as the day wore on. Then the next morning I awoke with a twinge in my right shoulder, which has happened before. It's a leftover from previously mentioned auto-immunity. It worsened as the day went by, and by evening, I was in intense pain if I tried to move my arm. Which I do quite a lot. So there was that. Resting and a yoga class with my regular teacher this Saturday have almost completely put that pain to rest. But pain must relocate and travel with an auto-immune disorder, so now my neck and ear are p-ing me off, and I'm losing my voice. That happened sometime between last night in bed and this morning when I awoke. I sound a little like Jessica Rabbit, except I produce more phlegm. Mmmmm, phlegm! Enough comedy jokes! Onto the boys! Habtamu is VIP this week in his class. Each child gets an opportunity to be VIP. The kids can bring in a favorite book, food, activity, music, etc. to share each day with their class. Their family members are also invited to visit and talk about the VIP. The first day he brought in an I SPY book. It's not his favorite (that would be the Bible. I'll do a separate post about that one!), but he rightly thought it would be a fun book to share. Today he brought in a loaf of Ethiopian honey dabo (bread) that he and Lire and I baked yesterday. It's from this wonderful cookbook, which I highly recommend, even if you have no ties to Africa. He also brought in Sorene, the Ethiopian children's folk CD we have. He didn't tell me whether or not they listened to it today, and I kept meaning to ask but then he lied to me about the gum he illicitly chewed before dinner, so I got distracted. Any-who, tomorrow I'm going to visit his class with his brother. We are going to do a craft project (his request), and look briefly at his lifebook again. We are going to focus on different houses -- those we saw in Ethiopia, the one we live in here, probably a few others from other areas of the world. Then we will make a simple origami house which the kids can later decorate with collage paper and colored pencils. It's a cute project, and the kids like to decorate it inside and out. Maia, as for the reception of his lifebook last week -- I have almost no info. His teacher was absent that day, and when asked about it, Habtamu replied, "I forget." Did anyone ask any questions? "I forget." Do you remember which pages you looked at? "uhm, no." We're not sure if it's a true loss of memory or a self-defense mechanism. He is definitely more self-conscious about being Ethiopian and adopted than he was last year, so we're watching as he feels his way around. I'm hoping to see how he feels about it tomorrow and even more hopefully that we'll talk about it. It was his idea to bring it, so we'll see. On Thursday he will take the day off to go to NYC with us, and then on Friday Dad will visit school and look at a book about NYC with the kids and talk about our trip. If my cold progresses unfavorably, I may stay home, as I tend to experience extreme illness unless I rest at the beginning of it.

And now for some eye candy from this past Sunday's flurry-licious frolics! Brothers and C3PO (that is a tongue-twister for Habtam, btw! -- he says "3CPO")

"Where he is?"

First, I suggest you go over here to read Maia's eloquent post about election day.  Next, I'll give you ours courtesy of Lire:

"Where Barack Obama?  Where he is?"  Lire, in all his literal preschool-ness, thought that Barack Obama would be at the voting precinct.  When I told him that he was in Indiana, he couldn't believe it.    

Al and I took Lire with us to vote early in the afternoon.  He was done with school and hadn't gotten to vote for Barack Obama like his older brother had during the primaries.  He's been talking about this for months.  

"I go Barack Obama!"  

Al and I went in, Lire LOUDLY at our side.  He is small, but loud, and repeats himself.  A lot.  I don't think the name Barack Obama has been uttered more in ten minutes over the course of this campaign than it was in our tiny little meeting house yesterday morning.  Lire caused both great big smiles of happiness and embarrassed, uncomfortable glances.  The former smile-wearers had a spring in their steps, and met our eyes with a "can you believe it, I'm so happy!" look.  The latter grimacers mostly were forced into slight, creaky smiles by Lire's enthusiasm.  However, an entire family that we actually KNOW totally iced us.  Brrr!!!!  Even when we smiled and waved at them.  

Oh well.  Lire tries, but even he can't charm some conservatives.

Later that night, our cousins came over to watch the returns with us.  Lire and Habtam stayed up a bit later to watch part of it.  Lire thought we were going to get to vote again.  He warned Habtam to listen to me and get into his pajamas and brush his teeth:  "Habtam!  Listen Mommy!  Vote Barack Obama later with cousins!"  

I can only imagine the party he envisioned:  All of us with our cousins, Barack Obama in our midst, sharing popcorn and white wine, counting the blue and red shapes on the tv, pulling the lever over and over again.

"Mommy!  Barack Obama blue, John McCain Red!"  This was his morning revelation.  Even though they have scant concept of what a president is or does, H and L were very, very happy that Barack Obama will be ours.

plastic blows and handsome devils

Please check out this link about plastic bags.  And then go to reusablebags.com and go get yourself some!

And then look at the cutest little ring-bearers you ever did see!

the weeping birdwatcher

Today Lire spit at his brother's food from across the table as they ate their afternoon snack. Nice.

When asked if he in fact did as Habtamu described (Mommy, Daddy! Lire did something really bad... he spit at my food!), we were greeted with a stony silence. Lire's cheeks were full of apple juice, his juice bottle tipped at an angle with which to imbibe more of the offending spit fuel.

He swallowed and said, "I go downstairs."

Daddy: That's a good idea. Please go to your room

Lire doesn't budge. I ask him if he'd like me to help him go downstairs. He nods. I go to hold his hand. Rejection. I pick up the little man and carefully carry his 40 lbs down the stairs and place him gently on his bed.

Lire: I no talk anymore (muttered)

Me: Ok (cheerfully)

Lire: HEY! (surprised and offended)

I went upstairs to help remove a tick from our beleaguered pup as Habtamu watched in disgusted excitement. I carried the tick down the stairs to flush it and heard "Mommy?"

Me: Yes Lire?

Lire: Mommy hup? (help)

I opened the door and saw our little man attempting to put on his pjs "awl by self," because it's "easier."

While this was going on H had gone to watch "Word World." Lire went upstairs expecting to find Habtam, but nobody was there but the birds out the deck window.

Lire: I say sorry Habtam! Where Habtam?

When I told little man where H was, and that he would have to wait a while to be able to watch tv with him, he became the Weeping Birdwatcher.

There's been a lot of activity at our feeder since the cool weather returned, and we saw a rose breasted grosbeak for the first time. There are two males hanging around our deck, and the Weeping Birdwatcher was glued to the window, albeit weeping.

Epilogue: The Weeping Birdwatcher eventually went to join his brother for tv time, an "I sorry Habtam" (H grunted in reply), and an amazing comeback as the Grinning Pesky Younger Brother Who Likes to Talk While Watching TV.

Craft and seek

Bad Erin!

I have been remiss in many things, one of which is getting an Etsy shop up. Instead of finishing my quilts, I've been obsessed with this book.

It's way too much fun. I would be booted off Proj@ct Runw@y faster than you can say Km@art, but I'm having a very good time. I've refashioned a baggy turtleneck sweater, an ankle-length skirt, and a hoodie. The hoodie makeover is very lame, but the sweater looks great, and the skirt has potential. I'll post pics as soon as I finish putting on buttons and finishing edges.

For now I will leave you with the latest Hide n' Seek costumes:

Tiger, tiger, burning bright -- so bright he had to wear shades

Sporty Superman -- eschewing his good-guy image he spent all afternoon attempting to rip the mask off of Tiger's face

Superman was terrified of Tiger. I think that's why he wanted the mask. He finally realized why Batman and Spiderman wore masks -- courage.

Also, I have a question. Why do boys throw things? Just curious.

let's go shopping!

At dinner last night Alex was talking to the boys about our impending visit to NYC. He mentioned that we might visit Chinatown. Habtamu stared at him for a long time. "China?" he asked. Daddy clarified that it was "Chinatown", not the country of China, and that there would be lots of interesting and strange toys to choose from while there. I mentioned that I didn't want any more small plastic things in the house (I mentioned my issues with JUNK in my last post). Habtamu stared at Daddy some more.

H: "Where I buy person?"

Us: ?

Daddy: Um, did you say "buy a person?"

H: Yes.

Me: Do you mean a person to get married to?

H: Yes?

Daddy: ?

Me: Do you think that people buy the people they want to marry?

H: Yes.

Yeah, I know. Where did THIS come from? My brother got engaged before Christmas, and over the Easter holiday asked Habtam and Lire to be ring bearers in his wedding. I'm guessing that this has taken on grand proportions in his imagination, as he is very excited to be able to wear "fancy clothes" on that day. But why he thinks my brother bought his bride-to-be, I know not.

I told him how Daddy and I loved one another very much and that Daddy asked if I wanted to marry him. I told him how I said "Of course!" and how we both wore rings to show that we were married and had a wedding to celebrate it. I told him that his uncle and soon-to-be auntie had done the same.

Then I asked him that if he could marry anyone in his class at school, who would it be? I won't divulge it here, but he made a very good choice. I told him that I would marry her, too, if I weren't already married to Daddy.

H: When I marry?

Me: You have to wait until you're a grown-up, at least 18 years old.

H: (Looks troubled by this bit of info) I marry C_____?

Me: If she wants to marry you too, sure.

Never one to be left out of such an important discussion, Lire asked to be asked whom he would marry. So we did. Lire wants to marry both of his teachers. I told him they were already married, but he didn't care.

Habtamu wondered if one could marry more than one person, so we told him that he couldn't (at least not in this country). One at a time.

I think one of the reasons he likes her is because she likes to race him. Upon entering school the other day they both ran at full tilt to see who would arrive at class first. However, later in the day she betrayed him by giving the blue jewel (plastic), he had found and given to her, to another boy. The boy in question apparently gave it to a boy in the other Pre-k class. H was temporarily devastated, but bounced back quickly.

Young love.

ready or not!

The boys have been perfecting their game of Hide and Seek of late. One of them will hide, often with the help of one of us. The other will pick a room to count in. Depending on who's doing the counting, it can be quite hilarious. Lire does the "10, 13, 21, 13... Mommy help?" while Habtam makes it to 20, and then free-forms it from there. They insist on counting to 30, even though the hiding doesn't take that long.

Yesterday while it was H's time to hide, L decided he was too scared to look for his brother. "I too scared, Mommy." This is because they both growl and scream upon being found, which scares the pee-pee (literally in Lire's case), out of them.

Ever resourceful, Lire dug through the bin filled with various and sundry JUNK gotten from birthday parties and school holiday events (don't get me started on the JUNK. I do not heart it. At all) He pulled out a green glitter Mardi Gras mask. He put it on as if it was what he had been looking for all along, and marched down the stairs, reaching for my hand.

"I scare Habtam. Habtam no scare Lire."

And it worked. Habtam was terrified by the little man in the green glitter mask. Wouldn't you be?