the little horse is newlY
Born)he knows nothing,and feels
everything;all around whom is
perfectly a strange
ness(Of sun
light and of fragrance and of
Singing)is ev
erywhere(a welcom
ing dream:is amazing)
a worlD.and in
this world lies:smoothbeautifuL
ly folded;a(brea
thing a gro
Wing)silence,who;
is:somE
oNe.
I am beginning to write in this blog once more. Journal entries to be expanded on, and a place to listen to my voice again, and hopefully to share.
The poem above by ee cummings has always been one of my favorites. It makes me think of personal regeneration, of how we can always begin again, be new again, see things newlY again.
A therapist helped me to realize that I was labeling myself -- specifically as a "sick person." When I thought about it, I realized I was often labeling myself: bad mother; weak woman; undependable girlfriend. Among others. The implication of failure is an obvious connection between these.
When I think about being newly Born, i think about not labeling myself. That doesn't mean I negate those things that encouraged me to create labels. I do have an autoimmune illness. I have parented in a way that I do not like. I have behaved selfishly in my relationships. These things have happened, are true. But there are many other productive behaviors I've demonstrated, positive qualities of which I'm proud, that should round me out. Round me out from a flat, written label on the page to a flesh and blood human being incarnated currently on planet earth.
She will begin writing again. We'll see how it goes.