Holding Still

complaints

Man am I tired.  I have 20 million things to do but no energy with which to do them.  I'm depressed about both sons' school situations now, not just Lire's.  We're not in a position to pay tuition at a private school, so I fantasize about renting or selling this house so we can move school districts.

H spent a day at the school where he'll be supposedly spending the next FOUR years.  As always, I asked how his day went.  He said, "Good."  I asked what types of things he did, what he liked, how the other kids were, etc.  He finally told me that there had been a kid who had been mean to him all day.  The kid kept telling him to "shut!" (I asked if he had said "shut up" but apparently he only said the first part), and tried to push him outside on the playground.  And the kid (and another girl) told him his pineapple at lunch was "disgusting."

Here's some info about Habtam.  He almost NEVER tells us when kids aren't nice.  Because kids can be like that.  Habtam can be like that.  He only tells us when it really bothers him.  I asked if the kid had been mean to anyone else, and he said no, and that that was not fair.

I thought this was a pretty unfortunate experience to have at a brand new school where he was supposed to go next year.  I know the teacher, so I decided I'd call her and see if she had noticed anything.

She told me, "sometimes, when children have had a bad year at school, they will speak negatively about a new school and say they don't want to go there... blah, blah, blah."  

Bad year?  Habtam didn't have a bad year.  He grew a lot, is learning to read, is able to articulate how he's feeling or if he needs help...

Well I thought that you had said that he had a hard time because he was the only black child in his class...

He doesn't like being the only one, that's true, but no one does!

Basically, she didn't show any concern that a little boy's first day visiting his new school was perhaps negatively affected by a mean kid.  She told me to stop focusing on the negative, that he was smiling all day, etc.  

Sure, he had a good time too, but I just wanted to find out about this one thing.  It's strange.  Habtam doesn't usually complain about such things, I was concerned.

Only after I said, "Well then never mind, I've gotta go," did she backtrack and say she would talk to the other teachers and see if they had noticed anything.  

Am I crazy, or wouldn't it have been nice for her to express a wee bit of concern at the onset, while still reassuring me that he had smiled most of the day, seemed excited about learning, etc?  

I think about validation a lot, because I struggle to do it myself, when people are unhappy about something.  Validate first, then pose other points of view to solve the issue.

This does not bode well.  This is a one-room school where you have the same teacher for FOUR years.  Habtamu says he is very nervous about being there until fourth grade.  Me too.

I haven't told him how I feel, because the last thing he needs is to worry about it.  

I have to go there today to drop something off paperwork-wise.  

Double-sigh.

Obama book

I have the pleasure of reviewing a book for Mom Central/Mothertalk --  Obama:  The Historic Journey.  I was so happy to be able to participate, to be given a book about Barack Obama that I could share with my sons.  I was not disappointed.

My first thought was that it was not unlike a children's version of Dreams of My Father.  It traces Barack Obama's life from birth to inauguration day, giving two-page spread profiles of the significant people in his life:  mother, father, grandparents, Michelle and the girls and even Jeremiah White.

I especially appreciated the book's straightforward discussions of race throughout.  For example, how difficult it was for Barack to feel like he belonged, being a biracial child with a white mom and grandparents, or how Michelle Obama's freshman year roommate's mother pleaded with Princeton to move her daughter so she could have a white roommate.  Yikes!

I like the way the book is laid out graphically -- it's mostly easy to follow.  There are quotes interspersed throughout, highlighted in red and blue, a family tree to further explain Obama's history, an electoral map, and explanations of things like delegates and the candidate's positions on issues.  The photographs are wonderful.  My older son Habtamu is mesmerized by them.  I'm looking forward to when he and his brother are able to read it on their own.  

I think one of the things that helped me recapture the happiness and hope I (and so many others) experienced in November and January was this interchange between Michelle and Barack.  He and she had spent time with his grandmother in Hawaii, trying to decide if he should run for president:

"You've got to ask yourself...Why do you want to do this?..."  

"This I know:  When I raise my hand and take that oath of office, I think the world will look at us differently.  And millions of kids across this country will look at themselves differently."

I can't top that, so that is what I'll leave you with.