Holding Still

something about weddings

Got this from Maia via Facebook -- I love hearing other people's wedding stories... share yours, or your dream wedding.  Both ladies and gents invited.


IF YOU'RE MARRIED, SHARE YOUR WEDDING DETAILS AND RELIVE YOUR MEMORIES AND IF YOU'RE ENGAGED/PLANNING A WEDDING, LET US KNOW WHAT THE PLANS ARE AND IF YOU'RE NOT WITH ANYONE JUST LET US KNOW WHAT YOUR DREAM WEDDING WILL BE THAT'S IN YOUR MIND....THIS ALSO INCLUDES QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR OTHER HALF

1. Are you married? 
Yes ma'am!

2. Who did you marry? 
Alexander Rostislav Coulter. 

3. How long did you date? 
This is hard to piece together, since there were gaps in between. Basically, I fell for Alex upon meeting him. Really. We had a few one-nighters in college, but didn't ever date. After college we went on a cross-country adventure for three months, wherein I fell even harder. When we went our separate ways, I couldn't believe I was wrong about us. I was sure my instincts were right on. It took several years for me to find out I HAD been correct. In 1996, six years later, I hopped the Peter Pan to NYC to escape an ill-fated 3 month relationship with a very nice fellow. I called Al and asked if I could come and visit, and I was quite presumptuous and asked if he minded putting up my friend Dennis a day earlier (I can't believe my hutzpah!). We were together from that time on -- about 3 years before we married.

4. What is the age difference? 
I am 4 months older. He likes to say that I am an older woman.

5. When did you meet? 
Freshman year of college. We were both art majors, and our respective roommates were good friends. We had to meet.

6. When did you start dating? 
When we were both committed to the relationship -- April 4, 1996

7. When did you get engaged? 
Big Al asked me to marry him in August of 1998. 

8. How did you get engaged?
We were hiking in Canada -- Jasper, to be exact. The weather had been very uncooperative, drizzly and cold. We got to a camp site called "Surprise Point." We hiked out to the point after ditching our backpacks. There were loads of elk couples hanging out, too, chewing grass and watching us. He took a box out of his pocket, which freaked me out, I had no idea! He said, "Erin Frances O'Connor, will you marry me?" (correct me if I'm wrong, Al). Apparently I didn't say yes, I just screamed with joy, jumped on him and started to cry. I assumed he would interpret this as a yes, but later he insisted I say Yes, just to make sure. It was so very cold that I had trouble keeping the ring on my finger, it kept slipping off since my fingers shrank in the cold. I wouldn't take it off, however. So I wore gloves. We had a very dangerous leave-taking of our special place, since the rain turned into hail and a major storm. We accompanied a frightened solo camper from Montreal back to civilization, crossing a roaring stream over a slippery log that Alex positioned to get us over. He was very brave, as was I. Not so much the Montrealer, though.

9. When did you get married?
May 22, 1999. 

10. What time was the ceremony?
11:00 am

11. Who was your maid of honor?
Loretta Marie McNamee.

12. Who was the best man? 
Al's good buddy Keith Hwang.

13. Who were your other bridesmaids?
No bridesmaids. Just my 11 year old cousin Frances as the flower girl. She looked like Alice in Wonderland.

14. Who were the other groomsmen?
once again, no groomsmen. Our godson Austin was the ringbearer. He was adorable and four years old.

15. Who played the music at your wedding? 
Alex was a choir boy, so fellow choir singers sang at our wedding -- Jen, Dave, George, Matthew and 

16. Did you have a cd or did someone sing at your wedding? 
We had cds, but no one could hear them -- people wouldn't stop toasting, so the music kept having to be turned down. Eventually whoever was in charge of the cds just gave up.

17. What was your song & other songs in the ceremony? 
We didn't have a song! Aren't we lame? However, the best song was performed by our friend Jed Dodds -- he played "Amazing Grace" on the saw!

18. What were your wedding colors? 
I will echo Maia's Hahahaha -- our wedding wasn't like that, either. I told Loretta and Frances to wear whatever they wanted. Which they did.

19. Did you buy your wedding dress or did you have it made?
I bought it at a thrift store in Manhattan. It was beautiful designer number, old-fashiony, and still had the tags on it. A wedding that never happened? Or as the saleswoman said, some people buy TWO or more dresses and decide on the day of the wedding what to wear. What? This was an Upper East Side thrift, um, consignment, store.

20. About the veil? 
No veil. I wore a crown of flowers. Very hippy-like, I know. That's how I swung then.

21. What was your bouquet? 
Two calla lilies. Long and elegant. Unlike me.

22. Who officiated your wedding? 
A very lovely man named Reverend George Easton. He was a Protestant minister my mother found for us. She just walked up to his rectory and asked if he would marry us. Our issue was that I was raised Catholic, but fell off that wagon. Al was raised basically as an atheist, but sang in an Episcopal choir his whole childhood. I wanted to be married outside and the Catholic church does not allow it. I really wanted my uncle Marty the deacon to marry us, but as I wanted to be married outside, and as I disliked what I considered to be the hypocritical nature of the church, we went with a protestant. He did a great job.

23. Did you have a bridal shower? 
Yes. My aunt Maryanne had it at her place. Mostly family and my mom's friends. All of my good friends were participating in a mini-triathalon or something. We should have planned it better so they could have come. It was really uncomfortable for me at the beginning, but then everyone drank their mimosas and bloody marys and all was well. 

24. Where was your wedding?
Outside, at a place called the Inn at Chester. It was in the yard, next to a pond and a little shed in whose windowbox Alex planted a few pale yellow petunias. My mom talked the florist into letting us borrow their geraniums to line our "altar" which was just the grass, really. It was a beautiful day, and everything was lush and green and happy. Like us!

25. Where was your reception?
At the Inn itself. We had hors d'oeuvres out on the patio and then went inside for lunch. It was an odd set-up, because there was one large room (it used to be a barn), and three smaller rooms, one of which was on a loft over us in the large room, and another back room. I think it gave everyone a chance to connect at their respective tables. At least I hope so.

26. Where did you go for your honeymoon?
We delayed our honeymoon for a month, at which point we went to the south of France and Tuscany. Amazing time. I had been taking Italian in college, so I got to try it out.

27. Are you and your spouse still happily married and in love???
We are. I feel as excited and happy about this guy as I did in college. The difference is that I feel more confident in our love, and our relationship is deeper and stronger. But I still get all funny inside after I haven't seen him for a few days and I anticipate seeing him again. He's still got it! 

28. Were there any bloopers on your wedding day??? 
There was a gigantic snake slithering around the pond. Apparently he/she had just eaten a bullfrog or something -- its middle was decidedly larger than its ends. Someone took a picture for us, as we didn't see it in action. My parents' friend Scottie found a rake in the shed, picked it up and tossed it into the pond. Some said it was an ill omen, (the Catholics, no doubt!) while others said it was a fertility symbol. Neither were correct. It was just a sated snake.

29. Did you dance at your wedding?
No dancing! I told you about the music debacle. Lots of chatting and toasting, which was fine with us.

30. Where did you stay on wedding night?
We stayed at the Inn itself. 

I only have a few pictures on file of that day -- it was early in the digital age, so my friend Dennis has them all. Go to his website, btw -- dennisdrenner.com. He still does weddings (he's great) and is located in the DC/Baltimore area.

Fabulosa?

Julia from The Eyes of My Eyes are Opened gave me a very flattering award:

for which I will be forever grateful.  Really.  I remember compliments for years afterward.  And insults.  I've got Cancer rising, I tend to hold on to things.

Anyway, part of the dealio is to name other fabulous blogs that you read and that inspired you.  So here goes:

Maia from West Wind.  I am in love with this family, whom I had the pleasure and privilege of meeting IRL  this fall.  She is a wonderful writer, and her insights on adopting a child and having a child biologically are worth their weight in gold.  I am inspired by her unflagging dedication to mothering, writing, and her pets.  

Mayhem and Magic.  Amanda and her husband adopted two boys at separate times.  One son was born in South Africa, the other son was born here in the US.   The parallel between our lives -- having two incredibly spirited sons who are a different race than we, the parents, are what initially drew me to her blog.  Then it was the honesty and insightful discussions of first parents and helping our children to find their identities in this mixed-up family and world.

Halcyon Mama.  One of the first blogs I discovered way-back-when.  She is the funniest writer I've read in a while, a gifted poet, and a mom of three, one of whom was adopted from China.  Her humor ranges from slapstick to gallows to spit-out-your-milk it's so funny.  And she likes the Cure.  And shoes.

Mimiboo.  Honesty is such a lonely word, as the Piano Man likes to say.  Mimiboo writes honestly about the challenges of raising her children, one of whom was adopted from China.  I have found a lot in common between our kids' behaviors, and thus, her blog supplies me with a lot of unintentional moral support.  She is also a knitter of de-gorgeous hats, two of which (well, really three, I lost one)  I purchased for myself.  

Dawn from Meet Dawit.  I had the pleasure of talking to Dawn on the phone before we met our boys.  I'll never forget one thing she told me:  "They can be incredibly annoying.  The knock-knock jokes!"  Yes, they can be annoying!  How liberating to admit!  And incredibly cute.  Dawn includes "Dawit-isms" in her blog when Dawit uses language in an especially engaging way, and equally cute anecdotes about Dawit's older sister Lily, who is the best older sister a kid could have.  I had the pleasure of running a wonderful errand for Dawn in Ethiopia when we went to pick up our guys.

So now you anointed ones are to give your own awards.  Don't worry about it, if you're too busy.  I give you permission to not do it.  But if you do, the rules are below.  I didn't see the original one, so I don't know what the addictions aspect of it has to do with it anything, so again, do what you'd like.

* Here are the rules to receiving this award:
You have to pass it on to 5 other fabulous bloggers in a post.
You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post. (Julia didn't, so I didn't feel the need)
You must copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.
On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.

Give all these girls a read.  They are worth it.

neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of night...

They tried to keep it off.  All the wind demons howling around the cable wires.  They tried to take it away from us.  Panic ensued as the boys informed me that the television was incommunicado:  "Mommy, Word World no on tv -- tv all black!"

Wind whistled and rattled the windows of the room as I frantically unplugged and replugged in the telly.  A picture appeared.  

Telemundo?  Channel 73?  That and the program menu.  Two channels, and one was Telemundo.  We watched as a character crashed a plate over the head of her lover in a jealous rage.  Tv off.  

Hours passed.  Dinner was prepared, a memory game was played, the paper doll Obama family was put together.  

The television was checked again for a heartbeat.  The display was on!  Could it be?  A picture.  And it's not a Spanish language soap opera -- the news!  A network channel.  Was Fox operable?  Yes!

American Idol will not be denied.

It's Hollywood week!!!!!

I know, I'm pathetic, to put it mildly.  I just can't help it.  Anyone else not so crazy about Kara?  I like my wacky, maybe-she's-on-pills and/or - drunk Paula.  I can't help it.  

So sue me!  

The cable is back.  The computer is functioning, the phone has a dial tone, and Idol will be seen at our house.  All is right with the world.

Erin out.