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May 19, 2008



I don't at all think you're thinking too much into it. Also, I think kids and their parents who have worked hard on emotional issues together and who learn how to cope have strong and lifelong relationships. You guys are wonderful.

PS - school candy freaked me out. I am shocked at how much there is from well meaning parents and teachers who are oblivious to the repercussions or that others are also giving out treats. And then they take away the opportunity for us to give our own treats to our own kids because our kid has already had too much!!!


I think you're doing a great job, especially at ferreting out the reasons that he has the meltdowns. There's nothing wrong with bringing your own cake if that might help prevent those problems. I completely get that every good-bye is a possible trigger, also. Strangely for us, the biggest problems come at our local Ethiopian restaurant. If I get up to go to the bathroom, even though J and P are still at the table, K will scream and shriek uncontrollably until I come back. It rarely happens anywhere else. It took several trips there to realize that it happens there every single time, even though he's OK with me leaving him in the company of his daddy and brother anywhere else. I'm currently trying to avoid the problem by making sure I go to the bathroom before we go there!

In any event, I'm glad that H's meltdowns are so much less frequent and can't wait to see your hat!


So not reading too much into things. Poor Habtam--such a lot to deal with when he is filled with chocolate. With so many food allergies and food issues, no one will blink if you bring your own goodies. My biggest doesn't eat anything artificial--it makes him Cuh-RAY-zee, so we bring our food along. And my little one is allergic to wheat, oat and dairy, so I see a lifetime of treat-bringing ahead of me.

Can you talk to H about his transition BEFORE the next party? Maybe make a plan for leaving. Maybe a treat waiting in the car--not a bribe, but something to look forward to. Let us know how things go, and here's to progress!!!


I totally don't think thinking about the chocolate is reaching. Did you read my post about the Pepsi? (argh). Certainly chocolate and Pepsi are not the same, but both are stimulating!

We realized after doing it far too many times that between us (dh and I) we call epic tantrums "Ethiopia-style," meaning in the manner of DD's particular tantrums while dh was in country. However, that could be wrongly interpreted as applying to all Ethiopians (certainly not the case). But I say this to share that we are still, nearly two years later, comparing (sometimes with misty eyes!) now to then. So much changes, but triggers often stay the same . . . The best part is when your child can say "remember when I was little and I . . ." (as in, "but I don't do that anymore.")

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