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May 27, 2008

Comments

Maia

I've been thinking about this post since I read it last night - and the sweet picture you illustrated it with. What about swimming together? Or dancing? Do you think maybe if there was something a little structured about the touch between you two it would help ease things a bit? And then maybe lead to a more natural rapport?

Your boys are so gorgeous! And I love his artwork!

Karen

I think you're doing a fantastic job with your boys! It's always difficult when you want to do equal stuff with your kids, since they are not the same. We always struggle with that too, but being aware of it is the first, major step. And the fact that he asked for your touch is absolutely wonderful.

Julie

I can't tell you how grateful I am for your honesty. Well, I guess I can tell you. I just did. Thank you.

Paige

Hey lady


Great post--we played today with another family more recently home from Ethiopia and Astrid Meklit seemed so big and independent by comparison.

You may want to look at the book 'The Out-of-Sync Child has Fun' it offers all sorts of sensory activities that are comfortable for a child like H who isn't always comfortable in his own body.

For kids who can't tolerate tickling, firm strokes are often really delightful. You might try doing a machina wash with H as the car. First you soak him with long strokes, then you suds him using a dry terry washcloth. Then you rinse, perhaps rolling him from side to side while you do it. Don't forget to dry. Elliott loved having a large ball rolled firmly over him to squeeze off all the water. This is such a relaxing experience--we did this for Elliott before bed nearly every night for years. He also loved being rolled into a blanket and rocked between the two of us. A foot or hand massage is also something to be enjoyed--lots of firm strokes, lots of anticipated contact, fewer elbows to the nose!

Maggie

Have you ever tried that old drama game with H? Mirroring each other's actions? You can do it and never touch each other at all, yet it requires good eye contact, and promotes understanding of each other. It's pretty intimate and kids just think it's silly and fun. My son and I have done that and have had good results. It can help lead to safe and welcomed touch.

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