Boot camp seems to be helping, at least for one day. I won't go into too many details, but we have streamlined H's life toy-wise, treats-wise and privileges-wise. There was a rough patch this morning when he got pissed at me for -- I have a hard time remembering. Oh yes, I enforced the behavior chart when he didn't listen after the fifth time we asked him not to do something.
The first thing he did (after trying to hide behind Alex's legs) was ask Daddy to sit where I was about to sit (next to him). Nothing doing. No more triangulation, Buddy. Then when it was time to say grace and hold hands (Lire's touch, of course), he refused to hold my hand. Daddy told him that he was being rude and alluded to the chart behind him. He put ONE finger on the back of my hand.
I removed my hand and we said grace in a broken circle. Needless to say, Lire was crushed.
Habtam received two out of a possible three strikes on his behavior chart even before breakfast started. If you haven't figured it out, we're working on his ability to be kind and follow simple directions.
Al went into his kindness riff, with Lire nodding his head knowingly all throughout, interpreting Daddy's words in Lire-speak: "Not nice, Habtam!" "Hode hands!" "Habtam, Habtam? Ask 'Thank-oo, yo welcome'!"
I contributed that it was Mommy AND DADDY who decided to "help" him learn how to be kind by taking away privileges and toys, and that we knew he could do it, because he was smart and kind when he wanted to be.
He appeared chastened and he quietly apologized to all of us. The rest of the morning went well and he happily dressed for school and chatted with all of us in a regular, cheerful way. When I went to pick him and Lire up from school he actually ran into my arms! Not a usual thing. I can count on three fingers how many times that has happened. He ate lunch gleefully, went to his rest time and slept 2 HOURS, and then woke up in a good mood. Afterwards the three of us installed the batteries into our new mini maglite flashlights -- sounds dull, pedestrian even? Utter JOY!! OMG how these boys LOVE taking things apart, adding things and then putting them together again! You would have thought I had given them bundles of gold doubloons!
I went to yoga later on, and Alex reported that all went well. I came home in time for a good night hug and soonki and further elated Habtam by informing him that yes, I had been able to locate a bulb for our inside car light. And yes, IT WORKS!!!
Habtam writhed in joy under his Snoopy cover and we hugged in celebration.
So interesting to me what makes that guy happy...
A Habtam philosophical/practical life insight before I go:
M: Yes Habtam?
H: If Daddy Mommy die, Habtam cook Lire (read: "I will cook for Lire")
M: First of all, H, Daddy and I don't plan on dying anytime soon. But if we did, that is nice of you to want to take care of Lire. You know, Lire likes to cook too. Would you let him cook for you ever?
H: Uh... NO. Lire crazy.